he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
