She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
