I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
