i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
