just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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