All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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