sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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