So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
