She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
