I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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