I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
