I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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