I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
