Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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