.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
