I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
