Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
