super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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