Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
ugly people sure do ruin things
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Randomize
