I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
