time to smoke my breakfast
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
