Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
