I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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