In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
