It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
