Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
