Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
