I'm gonna have a badass scar
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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