you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
