Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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