we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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