So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
