So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
