What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
