If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
