is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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