Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
