Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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