Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We are all done wearing pants today
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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