Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
