Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
