just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
