I'm jealous of your bromance
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Holy shit dude........stairs
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
