Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
