Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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