first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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