my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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