Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Never underestimate the power of titties
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