On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
