you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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