Barsexuality is the new black.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Randomize
